– A quick guide to getting screwed –
TIP #1
Speed 10 km/h or more over the limit and you’re screwed.
TIP #2
Drive with any concentration of alcohol in your blood and you’re screwed.
TIP #3
Exceed 100 km/h and you’re screwed.
TIP #4
No visibile P-Plates on the front and rear of your vehicle and you’re screwed.
TIP #5
Drive with dope, speed or ecstasy in your blood or saliva and you’re screwed.
TIP #6
Four or more demerit points on your provisional licence and you’re screwed.
TIP #7
Drive a high powered vehicle under the age of 25 without a full driver’s licence and you’re screwed.
TIP #8
Use any mobile phone function while driving and you’re screwed.
– You know you're screwed when –
Screwed Situation #1
After lining up for 10 minutes in the rain the drive thru girl says “sorry, we don’t serve pedestrians.
Screwed Situation #2
Mum refuses to drop you off around the corner.
Screwed Situation #3
You attempt to chat up the girls in the car next to you on rollerblades.
Screwed Situation #4
You’re caught in an electrical storm, you’re half way home and you’re on a bike.
Screwed Situation #5
The creepy guy on the bus has just made eye contact.
Screwed Situation #6
The stranger you’ve just hitched a ride with asks whether you’ve seen the movie Wolf Creek.
Screwed Situation #7
You wake up in the back of the taxi to discover that the driver thought you said Goolwa, not Gawler.
Screwed Situation #8
The only person who can take you to Summernats is grandma.
Screwed Situation #9
The shopping trolley you’ve been using to move house with has developed a wheel wobble.
Screwed Situation #10
You keep catching your hot date staring at your helmet hair.
Screwed Situation #11
You find yourself buying shoes for comfort not design.
